"Momma!"
"Be there in a minute bud!" Just as soon as I get this finished up.
"Momma, I want you to come cuddle with me!"
My 6 year old is always trying to get me to cuddle with him after I put him down to bed for the night. It's sweet, but I have so much to do!
Well, there's always tomorrow. He's not growing up that fast!
"Momma!"
"What do you need, hun? Is it important? I'm trying to get something done."
"Can you please come play with me?", he asks for the second time.
"I just did!" I'm getting irritated. After all, I just cut 15 minutes out of my work/ chore/ schedule to play a game I hate, right? Why can kids never wait? Everything has to be right now.
"No momma, you just did laundry and sat next to me but you were on your phone working. Can you please just play with me?"
This makes me pause a moment. He's right, he's got me pegged. I did do that. Crap.
"I'll be back up to play with you as soon as I finish making dinner." But, I don't. Because once dinner is done, it takes so long to eat it that it's bath and bedtime.
It's ok, it can wait until tomorrow.
"Momma? Will you please come to cuddle with me after you're done all your work?"
"Sure bud," I say easily. I'll just answer those last few emails, and be right in.
But it's hours before I finish up, and he's asleep. I give him a kiss on the forehead, but he doesn't realize I kept my promise. Because I didn't, not really.
That's ok though. It sucks, but there's always tomorrow.
He's my kid, and I love him with every part of me. But I have so much to do, when I finish it all up I'll make sure to carve out some special me and him time!
A few days of me working late into the night, it hits me.
He hasn't asked me in 3 days. Not to come out and play with him. Not to cuddle with him at bedtime. He's a perfect little soldier, he goes right to bed when he's supposed to. No sly smirks when he makes up a tummy ache or trying to cover his ears so I can't see he's lying when he says he thinks there's a bat in his room I need to check for.
The next night. I'm waiting for it. I must have been wrong and just missed it the last few nights.
"Goodnight Momma."
It happened. I was so busy dealing with all the things that just "couldn't wait", that I forgot the most important one of all. My biggest priority. The reason I work from home, the reason I work with kids.
I forgot that kid's don't wait.
He didn't slow down from growing up when he was a baby because I was getting a degree. He didn't stop having all the amazing firsts that you don't realize you'll miss until they happen - the first time going down the big slide by himself, the first time he made a friend at the park.
And it happened again.
Because kids don't wait.
I make it a point to stop in to see him again right after he goes down to bed. But it's too late. He's already asleep.
Something inside me breaks.
That's it. My big boy is getting to big to need his momma. At least not the same way. Too big to bother asking his momma to play, because she'll just be too busy anyway.
He's learning all the wrong lessons, and so fast.
This can't happen. Something has to change before it's too late.
I make a promise to myself.
From now on, the emails can wait until he goes to bed.
The phone calls can hold off until he's in school and his brother is down for his nap.
From now on, I will put just as much of myself into having fun with him and enjoying him being a kid, as he puts into his chores and helping me with my work and the house.
From now on, everything else can wait.
Because kid's don't wait.
And I'm going to enjoy every moment of it.
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